


The Land of Ahz

by Denise



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-07
Updated: 2012-07-07
Packaged: 2017-11-09 09:22:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/453902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Denise/pseuds/Denise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Season- Between 3 and 5<br/>Spoilers - None really<br/>Content Level - Older Kids<br/>Content Warning- Bad jokes, sheer spoofiness<br/>Summary- When a mission to acquire an alkash goes awry, SG-1 has an adventure they'll never forget…and probably never want to admit to.</p><p>Note - I've always wanted to do this, it's a 'crossover' that's just been begging to be written.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Land of Ahz

The Land of Ahz  
By  
Denise

 

* * *

Disclaimer Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.

* * *

  


"Just so that I'm fully informed, whose bright idea was this?" Jack asked, pitching his voice to be heard over the raucous alarms and warnings echoing through the confined space of the teltac.

"I believe that it was yours, O'Neill," Teal'c said, barely glancing over his shoulder. His dark fingers gripped the yoke tightly as he struggled to control the struggling craft. He sat stiffly in the pilot's seat, a stiffness that might have a little to do with the Jaffa armor he was wearing, a necessary part of their recent mission to, ahem, acquire the teltac they were flying.

Daniel was seated next to him, his face painted with worry. Jack stood behind them, or, more accurately, was TRYING to stand, but was largely holding onto the center console and doing his best to not be tossed around like a ball in a pinball machine.

The ship jolted and Jack cursed, swearing that his fingers dented the golden console as he struggled to hold on. "Carter!"

"It's the stabilizers!" she yelled, her voice filtering out of the engine room.

"I thought you fixed the stabilizers?"

"I was about to test them when the alkash buzzed us," she said.

"So you didn't fix them?"

"Apparently not!" she retorted.

"JACK!" Daniel yelled.

Jack glanced at the view screen, staring as two death gliders strafed their bow. "Weapons?"

"Firing." Daniel pressed a control on the console and a yellow beam shot out from their ship, striking the wing of one of the death gliders. It spun out of control and careened into the second one, sending both of them spiraling down towards the planet below.

"That was easy," Jack said.

"Maintaining our flight is a challenge that will not be as easily conquered," Teal'c said.

"What?"

"I cannot sustain this flight," he clarified, glancing over his shoulder at Jack.

"CARTER!"

"There's nothing I can do, sir," she said. "The sub light engines are going critical. Teal'c, is there anywhere where we can land?"

"The only class M planet is the one those gliders came from," Daniel said.

"Class M?" Jack asked, raising his eyebrows.

"It's faster than saying temperate planet with a nitrogen-oxygen atmosphere," Daniel tossed over his shoulder.

Sam leaned over Daniel's shoulder and pushed a few buttons. "There's a habitable planet with a gate in the next system," she said. 

"Will this bird make it that far?" Around them the teltac shuddered and shook, odd noises filtering out from the engine compartment.

"On sub-light, no. But it's only fifteen seconds away in hyperspace," she said. "The landing might be a little rocky but it's better than fighting our way off a goa'uld held planet crawling with Jaffa."

"And maybe a way to keep our nice salvaged teltac too," Jack said. "Plot the course."  
Teal'c nodded and followed Jack's order, removing his hand from the yoke to punch a few buttons before the ship lurched, jolting into hyperspace.

Jack silently counted down and braced himself as the ship dropped from hyperspace, the shimmering blue distortion replaced by a large blue and green planet. The teltac started to rock and buck in a different manner. "What's wrong?" Jack asked, reaching out to help steady Sam who was struggling to keep hold of the back of Daniel's chair.

"We came out close to the planet's gravity well," Teal'c said, his voice straining.

"Can you pull up?" Sam asked.

Teal'c shook his head. "The engines do not have sufficient power."

She manipulated the sensors again. "See if you can get us over that top continent," she instructed. 

"Carter?"

"We need to be over the continent that the Stargate is on," she said. "Especially since we have no way of knowing if the people on this planet have any sort of ocean going vessels."

"Ocean?" Jack asked, wondering where water had come into this.

She looked at him. "We're gonna crash, sir. The best we can hope for is to crash as close to the gate as we can."

"Do we HAVE to crash?" Daniel said. "I hate crashing."

"I hate losing our newly scavenged teltac," Jack complained.

"It's not on my top ten list either," Sam said. "But if Teal'c can't keep this thing in the air, no one can."

Teal'c glanced over and nodded at her. "It is likely that this will be less of a crash and more of a…rough landing," he said. "It would perhaps be best if you sought refuge."

"Refuge where?" Daniel asked. "It's not like you're going to be able to ring us down."

"I speak of the escape pods," he said.

"I hate those damn things," Jack complained. 

"I have little fondness for them either, however descent in a pod may be preferable to riding out a crash," he said. "I shall attempt to maneuver as close to the Stargate as I am able."

Jack sighed. "Just don't crash INTO the gate."

"How about not crashing at all," Daniel said, getting to his feet. He followed Jack towards the escape pods, lined up along the bulkhead of the teltac.

"Teal'c," Sam said. "The escape pods will work at any altitude above five thousand feet. If you don't think that you can get it down in one piece, let it go and get to a pod."

"I shall," he promised.

Sam followed Jack and Daniel to the pods, sighing softly as she opened the pod. "I'm gonna ignore the fact that these things look like a coffin," Jack said, stepping into his pod.

"More like a photon torpedo," Daniel quipped, stepping into his.

The ship shuddered roughly and Sam practically fell into her pod. The doors closed and she fought the urge to pound on the unforgiving surface and make it open up. She closed her eyes, battling the claustrophobia that swelled in her chest. She felt the jolt of the exterior doors opening and braced herself, unable to deny a scream as the pod dropped out of the bottom of the teltac.

She rode out the free fall, wishing that she could see as the pod blasted its way through the atmosphere. She counted, despite the fact that she had no idea how long it would take to land on the planet. She tried to brace herself, without stiffening up so much that she increased her chances of injury.

The air within the pod grew hotter and hotter and she felt sweat bead upon her skin and along her spine. Her breathing quickened and she gasped, knowing that her trip was about at an end.

Before she could prepare herself, the pod jerked and jolted, tossing her about like a die in a cup. She felt herself still moving and the pod alternately jumped and slid and she knew that she was skipping along the planet's surface like a rock on a pond.

Helpless to do anything else, she simply tried to relax and enjoy the ride…and hope that she stopped before she hit something truly unforgiving.

As near as she could figure, she must have blacked out, because the next thing she knew she was opening her eyes just as the doors to the pod popped open. She slowly blinked, indulging herself in a few moments of quiet inventory. Miraculously, nothing seemed to be broken she discovered as she flexed her muscles. With a heavy sigh, she pushed the doors of the pod aside, slowly sitting up.

She looked around, somehow knowing that she just wouldn't be lucky enough to find the colonel or Daniel nearby. She'd heard them eject from the teltac as least a second or two before her. Depending on the trajectory and the speed and…"Oh to hell with it," she muttered, raising one hand to massage a newly discovered sore spot on her head. 

Realistically, they could be a hundred yards away, or a dozen miles. And that was presuming that they'd both landed safely.

"You killed her!"

A shrill voice caught Sam off guard and she started, her heart jumping as she turned to face the voice. A small creature stood in front of her, looking her in the eyes. Which was even more odd, considering that Sam was still sitting down. "You killed her!" it repeated, stomping one small foot indignantly. 

"What?" Sam asked, shaking her head. It was all just a little more than she could comprehend at the moment. Not just that she'd survived the ejection, but that she'd run into some sort of intelligent life - that spoke English no less. And a life form that was all of three feet tall. It looked humanoid with its two arms and two legs and regular features. 

Its skin was tanned and painted with a pattern of odd blocks of color. Its hair was styled in a way that made it stand up away from its head. It was wearing a suit of bright colorful clothes that reminded Sam of a cartoon character.

"You killed her!" it said for the third time, pointing off to one side. Sam followed its hand and stared, her eyes bugging out a bit at the sight. She knew that she'd hop scotched, but had no idea just how much. The verdant green grass was marred and marked with black, her pod having torn irregular gouges in the landscape. She could see some debris by one of them and she frowned, pushing herself out of the pod to investigate. She staggered towards it, her pace slightly uneven. "Oh my god," she muttered, swallowing convulsively at the sight of a pair of bodiless legs sticking out of one of the craters. "I must have landed right on top of her."

"You killed her?"

"She is dead?"

"How did she die?"

"She killed her!"

A cacophony of voices rose up and Sam turned away from the horrific sight, staring in amazement as she was surrounded by a few dozen others, all just as diminutive a the first. "I didn't mean to," Sam said. "I couldn't control what it did. I'm so sorry."

"She is dead!" a loud voice cried. "Our day of deliverance is finally at hand. We are free! We are free!"

A cheer rose from the crowd and Sam relaxed slightly, sensing that she wasn't in any immediate threat. "Who are you?" she asked, resisting the urge to kneel down to speak to them on eye level. Even though they were friendly at the moment, her height was the only advantage she'd have if they decided to become unfriendly.

The crowd split, allowing one of them to walk towards her. He was dressed a bit nicer than the others. His hair was styled around what Sam could only call a top hat and he wore a bright blue waist coast. "Are you the leader?" Sam asked.

"I am the Mayor here," he said, his voice almost comically high pitched.

"Pleased to meet you, Mister Mayor. I'm umm, I'm sorry about…aah." She jerked her thumb over her shoulder at the amputated corpse lying on the edge of the smoking crater.

"We are most grateful to you. You have slain the witch."

"Witch?" Sam asked.

"My people called her that. For she and her sister enslaved us with dark magic."

"What kind of dark magic?" Sam asked as some of the little people filed past her, exploring the crater.

"Their eyes would glow and beams of power would come from their hands."

Sam sighed. "Lovely, more goa'uld. Where is her sister?" Sam asked, the confirmation of the deceased origin not reassuring her. She was not in the mood to deal with a goa'uld that just might be a wee bit pissed off at the death of her sibling.

"She lives in a palace in the other valley," the Mayor said.

Sam nodded. If she was lucky, she could find her team before this other sister found out about her sibling's untimely death, they just might make it out of this in one piece. "Look, I wasn't alone. I have two friends, well I hope three, and they were in pods just like this. Did you see anything? Any other shooting stars or things falling from the sky?"

The Mayor shook his head. "I did not."

"I saw what you seek," one of the others said, stepping forward. "Two beautiful arcs fell across the sky. They glowed like magic."

"Which way?" Sam asked. He pointed out a direction. "Good. Now I'm looking for the Stargate."

"Star…gate?" the Mayor asked.

"A big ring that you can walk through…umm, circ kakona, chappai, circle of the gods…umm." Sam wracked her brains, trying to come up with all the different names she'd heard for the Stargate.

"The Great Circle," the Mayor said, divining her meaning. "It is that way as well." He pointed off in the same direction that they'd indicated that the other two pods had fallen.

"At least that's easy," she said, hoping that she wouldn't get twisted around and lost.

The Mayor nodded. "Just follow the golden flowers."

"Follow the golden flowers?" 

"We must make our tribute of grain through the Great Circle each year. The grain often falls off the carts and blooms along the trail. Its beautiful golden flowers are in bloom right now," he explained.

"Oh, ok," Sam said. A hand tugged at her pants leg and Sam looked down. A female alien smiled as she saw that she had Sam's attention. She held up something in her hand and Sam took it.

"A token of our gratitude," she said.

"Thank you." Sam examined the item. It was a golden necklace with a large ruby crystal pendant hanging from the heavy chain. "I really can't accept this."

"You have slain the witch. The boon is yours," the Mayor insisted. "Now you must go and find your friends." 

Sam nodded. "Right."

She took a few steps. "Remember," she heard the Mayor said. "Follow the golden trail."

"Follow the golden trail," she muttered, hanging the necklace around her neck. "Follow the golden trail."

  
/\/\/\/\/\

  
Sam walked through the meadow, the grass thick under her feet. Fluffy white clouds drifted across the brilliant blue sky and a soft breeze wafted through the surrounding trees. She could hear bird song and occasionally caught sight of the creatures flitting through the trees.

If she was on Earth, she would find her surroundings quite enjoyable, idyllic even. Of course, on Earth she wouldn't be alone, searching for the rest of her team and desperately hoping that they were still alive.

She had high hopes for the colonel and Daniel. The escape pods weren't the most comfortable way to travel, but they were designed as a life boat so they were designed to get their passengers down in one piece, kind of like a parachute. But, unlike a chute, the passenger really had no control over their descent, as Sam's little mishap attested. 

Thinking of the other goa'uld on the planet, Sam picked up the pace. All she could hope for was that maybe the two goa'uld weren't on speaking terms and so news of the untimely death of the one she'd landed on would take a while to get to the next valley.

"Of course," she said to herself. "What are two goa'uld doing on the same planet? They're too competitive to play well together." She shrugged. "Wouldn't it be nice if the two goa'uld hate each other and she's gonna be happy and reward us?" She shook her head. "Yeah, right. And I have a great view of the Pacific from my front porch."

"Get away from me you freaky little thing," she heard. Recognizing the colonel's voice, Sam picked up the pace and broke into a trot, moving towards the sound. As she jogged, the necklace bounced uncomfortably against her chest and she slipped it under her t-shirt. 

She followed his voice into the trees, pausing here and there to adjust her course. She finally came to the base of a large tree. Large actually was an understatement. It was more like freaking huge. The trunk was at least thirty feet around and many of the branches were as thick as normal tree trunks. "Colonel!" she called out.

"Carter?"

"Where are you?"

"Look up." 

Sam did as he ordered, unable to hide the grin that crept across her face as she caught sight of her CO, dangling about ten feet above her head. "What are you doing up there?"

"Hanging around, you?"

"Just out for a stroll. How did you get up there?"

"How do you think? The damn pod landed in the tree. I was trying to climb down and…" He gestured and made a face. "I don't suppose you have a ladder?"

"I don't have a rope either."

"I do," he said. Sam slowly walked around, craning her neck to get a better look. As near as she could see the colonel's vest was caught on a branch. All she could guess was that he had been trying to climb down when he'd slipped or lost his balance. Being 'hung' had probably kept him from falling and possibly hurting himself.

"Where?" she asked. If he had a rope them maybe she could climb up and rig something up, allow him to get free without falling.

"In my pack."

"Which you're hanging from," she said, grimacing at the conundrum.

"Yeah, quite the quandary," he quipped.

Sam bit her lip and studied their surroundings. The area around the monster tree was mostly bare, just a few scattered leaves and debris covering the ground. A few yards away stood another tree. This one was much younger and thinner and had several branches just a few yards off the ground. She moved over to it and looked up, mentally gauging the distance between them and studying the branches. "You know, sir, I think the branches of this tree touch the branches of that tree."

"Really? Good for the tree."

Sam sighed, mentally whacking her CO upside the head. She had to settle for that since really whacking him would get her tossed into the brig. "What I mean, sir," she said, accentuating the title. "Is that I can shimmy up this one, walk across the branches, get into your tree and help you get down. Unless, of course, you'd like me to go find the Stargate and request a rescue team. It might take me a few hours but I'm sure that SG-3 is just hanging out and would love to come back with a nice big ladder to help you down."

She heard him sigh and she lowered her head, hiding her grin from his easy view. "Are you sure you can climb that thing?"

"I cut my teeth climbing trees. It'll be a piece of cake," Sam said, hoping that she wasn't understating the difficulty of her self-appointed task. Theoretically it wasn't an issue to climb the tree. But while that part was easy, the whole tree-to-tree transfer thing might be a bit harder. Of course, that little detail fell under the need to know clause. And he didn't need to know about it.

Taking a deep, fortifying breath, Sam moved towards the smaller tree and wrapped her arms around it, locking her hands together behind the trunk. She gripped it tightly and let her arms support her weight as she wrapped her legs around the trunk. Slowly but surely, she shimmied up the tree, inching her way towards the branches a few feet above her head. She knew that it would be easier once she got up there, when she could simply climb from branch to branch.

The muscles of her inner thighs and arms started to ache with the strain and Sam paused, wishing that she had a free hand to brush the sweat out of her eyes. "Carter? You ok?"

"Fine," she gasped out, reapplying herself to the tree. After another couple of minutes, she arrived at the lowest branch. 

Steadying herself with her legs, she took one of her arms from around the tree and raised it above the branch. She shimmied up a bit higher until her left leg was just under the branch. Grunting with the effort, she shifted her weight and swung her leg over the branch.

She then slid over until she was perched on the branch and hugging the tree, her face pressed into the rough bark. She stayed that way for several seconds, nursing strained muscles and stressed nerves. "Carter?"

"Yeah," she said, the knowledge that the colonel was just concerned overriding her frustration at him interrupting her little communion with the tree. Taking a deep breath, she pushed herself away from the trunk and looked up, gauging the distance to the next branch. 

It was just a couple of feet over her head and she grabbed it, steadying herself as she got to her feet, balanced on the branch. "The one that connects with your tree is a few feet up," she said. "I need to climb up and then over."

"Just watch yourself," he warned. "If it's the choice between putting up with Reynolds' gloating and scraping you up with a spatula, I'll take Reynolds."

"I'll bear that in mind," she said, smiling at his words. She started to climb the tree, slowly making her way up into the branches. It wasn't the hardest climb she'd ever made, in fact the branches were spaced just about right and she only had to pull herself up a couple of times before she reached the branch that led over to the colonel's tree.

Unfortunately, there wasn't anything she could hold onto so she sat down on the tree, not trusting herself to walk the branch like a balance beam.

"I can't see you," he called out. "Where are you?"

"I'm sliding over to your tree now," she said. "I should be there in a few minutes."

Now that she was up in the tree she could see the colonel's pod, perched in the crook of a couple of huge branches. From what little she could see, while she had been hop scotching across the ground, he'd done the same in the trees, slicing through tree after tree, each one absorbing his momentum and likely allowing his pod to land and remain in the branches of this tree.

Sam slid along the branch, pausing a couple of times when the branch dipped menacingly. "It's six inches around, it's more than big enough," she muttered, reassuring herself that the branch would not snap and let her plunge to a messy death.

"Carter?"

"Gimme a minute," Sam bit out. She continued her slow journey, finally arriving at the place where the two branches touched. "Wonderful," she said, her closer perspective giving her a different point of view. While the branches had looked like they were touching from the ground, in reality they were about a yard apart. She cocked her head, trying to work out a solution that didn't include her crashing to the ground. "If I had a rope and a-"

"Carter?"

"Gag," she completed, rolling her eyes at her CO's interruption. "Yes?"

"Whatcha doing?"

"Just taking a little break."

"Oh, ok. No problem then."

Sam shook her head and briefly considered 'accidentally' discharging her zat, then abandoned that mutinous thought and reapplied herself to the problem before her. "All or nothing," she muttered, resigning herself to the one expedient solution. She took a deep, fortifying breath then reached forward, knowing that she was over balancing. She stretched out for the branch, her fingers brushing it just as she lost her balance. She grabbed out with the other hand, wrapping her fingers around the branch as her body fell forward. 

In just a second she was hanging between the two trees, her arms wrapped around one, the legs the other. She rested for a second, breathing harshly and readying herself for the next step. Moving hand over hand she moved herself away from the gap until her boots were hanging on by just an inch.

Her boot slipped and her legs fell and Sam grunted as all her weight was borne by her arms. "Carter?" She ignored him and concentrated on getting her legs back up on the branch. She swung her legs, finally hooking one of them up on the branch. She pulled herself up and was finally laying sprawled out on the branch. "Carter? What's going on?"

"I should have called in the Marines," she said. She raised her head and stared. "Umm, sir. Have you noticed anything…odd?"

"Lemme guess, you found my little friend."

"Friend?" Sam asked, staring at the diminutive creature perched just a foot away from her. It looked like a tiny monkey in a way. It had long arms and legs and a tail that twitched and curled around itself. Dark brown eyes stared out from a grey face and it blinked curiously at her. Sam guessed that it was just a little larger than her hand and weighed perhaps two pounds.

"Given that it hasn't eaten me yet, I'm calling it friend," Jack said.

"Have you seen any more….friends?" she asked.

"Just that one."

"Ok." She slowly sat up and watched the little monkey as she moved. It only moved back a few inches, making a few squeaks as it stayed out of her way. Sensing no threat from it,   
Sam kept making her way towards the trunk of the tree, the monkey leading her. After a few minutes, she could get to her feet and stand on the branch. "I'm at the trunk. I'm going to climb down towards you."

"Ok," Jack said.

Sam slowly climbed down, belatedly remembering one truism from her childhood, where trees were concerned, it was easier to go up than to go down. It took her just a few minutes to arrive at her goal, the branch just above where the colonel was hanging. All along the way, the monkey followed her, staying close, but out of reach. 

Now that she was above him, she could see what was hanging him up. A large branch poked through his vest and his own weight was keeping captive. "I don't suppose you can unzip your vest?" she asked.

"I tried that, it's stuck," Jack said. 

"Okay," Sam said. "Then I can only see two options-"

"Cut the vest or cut the branch," he interrupted.

"Well, if I could get at your pack and get the rope, maybe I could string it over a branch, give you something to support your weight and maybe lift you off the branch," she said.

"Or there's that," he said. "Can you make it down here?"

Sam studied the situation, doing her best to gauge the distance. "Yeah, I think I can," she finally said. She started to make her way down to where he was trapped. The branch he was hanging from was just a couple of feet under another one. If she could just get onto the higher branch, she could reach down and hopefully reach into his pack and retrieve the rope. She glanced over at the little monkey creature, glaring at it to silently tell the little thing to leave her alone.

Sam slowly climbed down towards him, stretching out to lay down on the branch above the colonel. "I'm just gonna reach down and pull the rope out of your pack."

"Fine."

She wrapped her right arm around the branch and hooked one leg over, leaning her left side down towards the colonel. Her fingers brushed the top of his pack and she leaned down further, trying to reach her goal of the clasp of the pack. Suddenly a scampering weight ran over her leg and she screamed, instinctively shifting balance.

Her leg slid off the branch and her left arm flew up, trying to prevent her from falling to the ground. She heard the colonel yell as her floundering legs hit something. Sam struggled to remain in the tree as she heard a loud snap and the unmistakable sound of someone making a hard landing. "Colonel?" Sam asked, her fingers digging into the unforgiving bark of the tree. "Colonel, are you okay?"

"Peachy," she heard, making out the word amongst a barrage of curses. "What happened to the rope?"

"I'm sorry, sir. Something startled me."

"No? Really?"

Sam craned her neck, trying to look down at him. "Are you okay?"

"I'll live. You gonna join me?"

Sam looked down, past her boots, trying to gauge the distance. Figuring that if the colonel could survive the drop, so could she, she let go, flexing her knees and rolling as she hit the ground. She laid on the ground for a second, her eyes closed. A shadow fell across her face and she opened her eyes, staring up as the colonel stood over her. "You gonna take a nap?"

"Sorry, sir." He held out his hand and she reached up, letting him pull her to her feet.

"Have you seen Daniel or Teal'c?"

Sam shook her head. "I ran into some natives that saw two pods come down, so I think Daniel can't be too far away."

"Natives?" His voice rose a bit and she cold see the alarm flash across his face.

She shook her head. "They're harmless. They pointed me towards the Stargate. And you."

"Harmless?"

"They're all of three feet tall," she explained. "They were there when my pod opened and…" She frowned, remembering the rest of the story. 

"Carter?"

"Okay, umm, there's a goa'uld on this planet." His eyebrows rose. "Or there were two, but now there's one, because I kinda killed one when my pod landed."

"You killed a goa'uld with an escape pod?" he asked skeptically. She nodded. "Sweet."

"Maybe not," Sam admitted. "Apparently she has a sister, who might be a bit miffed that I killed the other one."

"Miffed?"

"Her palace is in the next valley. The Stargate is between it and us. Best case scenario, we find Daniel and Teal'c and head home and she never even realizes that we've been here."

"Until she finds her sister's corpse."

"By then, we'll be long gone."

He stared at her for a moment then sighed, quirking his head a bit. "Okay, the faster we get them, faster we get off this rock." He looked around. 

"Sir?"

"Just looking for the Stargate."

Sam smiled. "It's aah, this way." She jerked her thumb over her shoulder.

"This way it is then," he said.

The pair of them set off, neither noticing the diminutive creature that followed in their tracks.

  
/\/\/\/\/\

Jack led Sam through the grove of trees, hoping that they were on the right path. She remembered the Mayor's advice but had the idea that he didn't get out much. She and Jack had easily found the trail of yellow flowers and they'd followed it most of the day. But it led them into a thick grove of trees - one much larger than where she'd found the colonel - and the flowers had faded away.

Her best guess was that the flowers needed full or near full sun to thrive. And that any spilled seed simply couldn't grow in the shaded depths of the forest.

"Would it be too much to ask for someone to put out a sign?" Jack asked, glancing over his shoulder.

The trail that they were on probably wasn't deemed narrow by local standards. In fact, it was wide enough for a cart to pass. Of course, the cart was likely built for and driven by people that were roughly half their size.

It was rutted and narrow, which was why the two of them were walking single file along the raised bit between the ruts.

"And you'd probably want it in English too," she muttered, glancing back to see if the little monkey was still following them. Evidentially the creature had adopted them, trailing along in their wake, never too close, but rarely out of sight.

"Excuse me?" Jack asked.

"Even if there were signs, I doubt that they'd be in English," she said, blaming her little bit of insubordination on being tired and hungry. The last time she looked at her watch it had been five hours since they'd landed on the planet. And, ignoring her short bit of unconsciousness, she'd been walking nearly non-stop. 

"I think I hear water," Jack said, either accepting her explanation or choosing to ignore her sarcastic outburst. "Might be a good place to take a break."

"That sounds good," she agreed.

There was indeed a stream ahead of them and Sam gratefully sank down on a rock, relishing the chance to rest, even if it was only for a few minutes.

"Did that Mayor say anything about the goa'uld?" Jack asked, draining his canteen. He squatted beside the water and held the empty bottle in the current to refill it.

"Just that there were two of them. The one that I killed they called a witch and said that she'd enslaved them with her 'dark magic'."

Jack pulled his canteen out of the water. He dropped a water purification tablet into it and screwed on the cap before setting it aside. He held out his hand and Sam tossed her canteen to him, smiling her thanks. "Do you have any idea who this goa'uld is?"

Sam shook her head. "They didn't call her by name." She neglected to mention that she hadn't asked for one either, blaming that oversight on her befuddlement waking up surrounded by midgets. "Once we get home we can ask the Tok'ra. Maybe they know who's here. It can't be anyone too notable or we'd have been briefed last time."

Jack nodded and handed her the canteen back. He sat down on a nearby rock. "What about the trail?" he asked as a flash of movement caught her eye.

The little monkey had caught up with them and was now scampering on the stream bank, occasionally taking a sip of water. The stream ran clear and fast through the trees, tumbling over rocks. Here and there, Sam could see some waterlogged branches caught amongst the rocks. They had obviously fallen off the surrounding trees and floated downstream until they'd gotten caught. One such branch was just a short distance downstream and the monkey clambered out onto it, chitting as it played.

"Well," Sam said. "It led us straight here and this is clearly a fording point." The streambed in front of them was wider and shallower and Sam could see clear ruts entering and leaving the stream.

On the far side she could even see a few of the elusive yellow flowers, clinging tenuously to the bank of the stream. "The water's probably only a foot or two deep. We could wade across."

Jack made a face. "Yeah, but I was kinda hoping for a 'dry boots' way."

"Me too," Sam said. They had no way of knowing how much further they'd have to walk. Or if they'd have to spend the night. And since they didn't have much in the way of supplies, any camp would be minimalist at best. Which meant uncomfortable at the very least. Wet clothing and footwear would just make that worse. "The stream could narrow either up or down stream. Or maybe one of those logs actually fell across it," she suggested.

Jack nodded. "It's worth a shot. Up or down?"

"If we split up-"

"No," he interrupted. "If there's a pissed off goa'uld running loose, I don't want us split up."

"Downstream then," she said. "The trees are thicker. We might have a better chance of a log bridge."

"Downstream it is." The pair of them got to their feet and started to walk the way of the current. As they walked, the trees - and the shade - got thicker. The temperature dropped and Sam shivered slightly, shoving her hands in the pockets of her jacket and hunching her shoulders.

The stream was narrowing slightly and Sam began to think that they'd made the right choice. They rounded a bend however and Sam heard the colonel mutter a curse. "Well, hell."

He came to a stop and glanced back at her. "We just lost our 50/50 bet." Ahead of them the stream widened considerably, spreading out into a wide pond.

"This doesn't make any sense," she said.

"That Murphy's in fine form?"

Sam shook her head. "The stream. It was running so fast just a mile back and now it's not moving at all."

"Carter?"

"Sir, the only thing that naturally moves water is gravity and wind. There's no wind in these trees, at least not enough to account for this."

Jack blinked slowly, frowning. "Huh?"

"Colonel, we've walked less than a mile from the ford. The water was moving pretty quickly there, but doesn't seem to be moving at all here and…it's just weird."

He nodded. "Alien planets tend to do that you know. They seem to have cornered the market on weird."

The little monkey had now caught up with them and it scampered in and out of the trees. Jack watched it for a few seconds then smiled. "I think I've solved the mystery," he declared. He motioned for her to follow him as he continued downstream, walking around the swell of the pond.

Sam followed, her eyes catching sight of some oddities. "You know, this pond is…weird," she said, grimacing as she said the word.

"How so?" he asked, not taking the bait to tease her.

"There doesn't seem to be any bank and there's some trees in the water. It almost looks like a flood, but the ground we've been walking on is dry so it can't have been rain because I'd expect the ground to still be wet. It could have rained upstream, but I didn't notice any high water marks or debris indicating that all the stream had flooded." He stopped walking and she paused in her ramble. "Sir?"

"Or something decided to make a dam, forcing the water to pool and rise and flood the stream," he said, pointing out a large pile of sticks and dirt blocking the flow of the stream.

On the other side of the dam, the stream continued flowing, albeit much narrower than it was before. "Beavers?"

"Or this planet's equivalent," Jack said. "There's our bridge."

"You want us to walk across the dam?"

Jack shrugged. "You can drive across Hoover Dam." Sam glared at him. "Look, if beaver set up shop in Minnesota and build a dam, it takes dynamite to clear it," he said. "It just looks like a random collection of sticks and mud."

"Maybe further down stream-"

Jack shook his head. "It could take hours and we don't have that kind of time to waste. We need to find Daniel and Teal'c."

Sam sighed, agreeing with him. He started out across the dam and Sam waited a few seconds, letting him get about ten feet ahead of her before she followed, setting foot on the animal made structure. 

Much to her surprise, it was steady under her boots. A few small twigs snapped and bent, but over all the top of the dam was dry and sturdy. It was longer than she'd have thought, stretching out for a dozen yards. "They planned it, didn't they?" she asked, realizing that the dam wasn't just some abstract construction. The beaver had deliberately built it high and long, somehow knowing how big they needed it to be to hold back the water of the stream. "Somehow they knew just how big to build it."

"Don't ask me now they know," Jack said. "But I've never seen a beaver dam topped over, not unless there's been a hell of a lot of rain."

The surface of the newly formed pond was smooth and calm, rippling slightly in the breeze and glinting in the late afternoon sun. Something jumped out of the water and landed with a splash. "Too bad I don't have a pole, we could have fish for dinner."

Sam was thinking up a retort based on the sheer contrariness of him urging speed one moment then longing to linger while they caught and cooked dinner when a guttural scream echoed across the water. "What the-"

"Daniel," Jack said. He picked up the pace, nearly running across the remaining length of the dam. Sam trusted in his instinct and followed, almost losing her balance a couple of times when she placed her foot wrong. 

As soon as they were on solid ground, he sped up even more, running full tilt through the trees and towards the screams. As he ran, he pulled his sidearm from its holster and Sam did the same, doing her best to see though the thick trees.

The screams grew louder and Sam could see dark shapes flying back and forth. It looked to her like they were attacking something on the ground. She could now clearly hear the voice and knew that she recognized it. "DANIEL!" the colonel yelled. 

"Jack! Help!"

Jack raised his gun over his head and fired a shot into the air. Now that they were closer, they could hear the sounds of the attacking hoard. They broke through the trees and Sam stopped, shock overcoming her training. She stared for a second, the loud report of the colonel's pistol snapping her out of her amazement. She raised her sidearm and fired a few shots, doing her best to scare, but not hit the creatures.

After a few impossibly long seconds, they all flew off, leaving the three of them alone. San stood and watched the shrinking mass of flying animals. "You okay?" she heard the colonel ask Daniel.

"Yeah."

"Those were monkeys," Sam said, turning back to look at her teammates.

"What?" Jack asked, helping Daniel to his feet.

"I thought it was birds attacking Daniel, but it wasn't birds."

"AAH!" Daniel yelled, shrinking back against a tree. Jack and Sam spun, both with their guns at the ready. They lowered them when their little companion scampered into view, seemingly oblivious to the carnage he'd just missed.

"It's okay, he's a friend," Sam said, lowering her gun.

"He is?" Daniel asked.

"Well, he hasn't attacked us."

"Yet," Jack said.

"He's been following us all day. If he wanted to hurt us, he's had ample opportunity," Sam said.

"Maybe the bad attitude is something they grow into. Kinda like the wings," Jack said. "Are you okay?" h asked Daniel, studying him for injuries. Like all of them, Daniel looked a bit worse for wear, but not obviously injured.

"I'm fine," Daniel said. "My pod landed about a half mile away. I couldn't find any high ground so I thought I'd climb a tree and maybe see one of you guys. But I guess I spooked a nest of those things. The next thing I knew, there were a few dozen of them hanging around. I so much as moved, they'd buzz me."

Jack nodded. "Did you see where the teltac went down?"

Daniel shook his head. "I think that way." He pointed off to their right. "I thought I saw a contrail and heard the sound of a crash."

"That's in line with the gate, sir," Sam said.

"You're sure?"

Sam nodded. "The trail's right over there." She pointed out the narrow cart trail, just visible though the trees.

"Okay," Jack said. "We'll keep following the trail, see if we can find the gate, or Teal'c."

"Umm, Jack. What about it?" Daniel asked, pointing at the little monkey.

Jack shrugged. "It goes where it wants to go. Let's see if we can get home in time for dinner."

  
/\/\/\/\/\

  
"You crashed into a tree?" Daniel asked, ignoring Jack's glare as he looked towards Sam.

Sam nodded. "His pod landed in the branches of a really, really huge tree."

"I can't believe that a tree withstood the force of reentry," Daniel said.

"I think I massacred a few of its friends. It was quite refreshing," Jack said with a rueful grin. "And anyway, at least I didn't land on any people."

"I didn't-" Sam started, breaking off when she saw the apology in his eyes.

The three of them abruptly left the trees and came to a stop, staring at the meadow spread out before them. Sam could see the yellow flowers, so sparse in the forest, again springing from the ground. They created a yellow ribbon on the thick, green grass that wound its way back and forth across the plain, its pattern seemingly random.

"It's beautiful," Daniel said.

"Kinda reminds me of that annoying picture on my screen saver," Jack said.

"I wonder why the trail twists and turns so much," Sam said.

"Following the lay of the land?" Daniel suggested.

"Maybe," Sam said. "But the terrain doesn't look too rough."

"As deep as the ruts are though the trees, it's probably easier to follow them than it is to buck them," Jack said.

Sam nodded, something in the distance catching her eye. "Colonel, what's over there?" She pointed off in one direction and Jack pulled his monocular out of his pocket, bringing it up to his eye.

He stared for a few seconds, a smile creeping across his face. "That, lady and gent, is our ride." He handed the monocular to her and she looked, the small device allowing her to clearly see the battered form of their teltac.

"Can you see any sign of Teal'c?" Daniel asked.

"I'm not seeing anything but the ship," she said.

"Let's go check it out," Jack said, stepping off the path to make a beeline towards the crash site.

"Jack?"

"What Daniel?" Jack said, his voice slightly singsong.

"What happened to staying on the path?"

Jack looked back at him, then made a show of looking across the meadow. "If we walk straight, we can be there in less than an hour, if we follow the path, it'll take three. I'm kinda preferential towards the quicker route. And Teal'c just might be too, especially if he's in there hurt and needing help." He shrugged. "Besides, it's not like we're gonna get lost and lose the path…Carter, do you think we'll lose the path?"

Sam gaped for a second, caught off guard by the question. "Umm, no, I don't think so."

"See," Jack crowed. He spun on his heel and set off towards the teltac, his pace quick and steady. Sam looked at Daniel and shrugged, falling into step behind Jack. "Fine, whatever," Daniel said as the two of them jogged to catch up with Jack.

As it turned out, Jack's estimate of less than an hour was a bit off. About seventy-five minutes after first spotting the teltac, the three of them arrived at the crash site. "It's mostly in one piece, " Sam said, slowly walking around the fallen ship.

"Yeah, but he still landed hard," Jack said, pointing out the torn up dirt and destroyed foliage Teal'c had left in his wake.

"But the inertial dampners would have helped, right?" Daniel asked.

"Some," Sam said. "He'd probably still be banged around a bit."

The door hung open and Jack stuck his head inside, followed quickly by Sam and Daniel. They searched the interior, finding nothing more than a few rusty smears on the front console. "I don't know if it's good or bad we didn't find him," Daniel said.

"He made it out alive," Sam said. 

"Then where the hell is he?" Jack asked.

Daniel stuck his head back outside the door of the teltac. "TEAL'C!" he yelled.

"That's one way to find him," Sam said.

"With all our luck, he'll call those damn flying monkeys down on us again," Jack complained, pushing past her to join Daniel outside. "For crying out loud, Daniel-"

"Daniel Jackson!"

"He found him," Sam said, smiling at the sound of her friend's voice. "Teal'c!"

"I am over here, Major Carter." His voice seemed to come from over a small rise and the three of them hurried forth. "Halt!" he shouted as soon as he saw them. "Come no closer."

The three of them froze. "What's wrong?" Jack asked. Teal'c was sitting on a large rock, his hands awkwardly at his side and made no move to get to his feet.

"You must come no closer, it is not safe," Teal'c said.

His voice was strained and tinged with exhaustion. "Are you hurt?" Sam asked.

"You must come no closer," he repeated.

"Teal'c?" Jack asked. "What's the sit rep?"

"I cannot move," he admitted softly.

"What?" Sam asked. She visually searched him for injuries. "Did you hurt yourself in the crash?"

Teal'c glared at her. "The injuries I sustained in the crash were not severe. Upon ascertaining that the craft was not capable of attaining flight, I exited it and began to search for the Stargate. I was fatigued and I sought to rest here. However, now I cannot remove myself from this surface."

"You're stuck to the rock?" Daniel asked.

"Sit on some super glue?" Jack asked.

Sam stepped away from her friends, slowly circling Teal'c. He glared a warning at her and she raised her hand, indicating that she'd keep her distance. "I do not know why I am unable to move. The Stargate is a short distance away. Perhaps it would be best if you sought assistance from the SGC."

"We're not going to leave you here," Jack said.

"Maybe one of us can gate home, get some help and bring it back," Daniel suggested.

"I don't think we need to," Sam said. "I think we can free him ourselves."

"Major Carter, I have been attempting to free myself for many hours," Teal'c said.

"And without leverage, you can keep trying until you die," Sam said.

"Carter, what's going on?" 

"That's not a rock he's sitting on."

"Looks like a rock to me."

"Okay, maybe, TECHNICALLY, it's a rock. But it's also a meteorite."

"A meteorite?" Daniel asked.

"An iron meteorite," she said. "Which also happens to be magnetic."

"And T is wearing his metal armor," Jack said.

"Which is why he can't move," Sam said. "And why he can't get himself off it."

"But we'll be okay," Daniel said.

Sam nodded. "As long as we don't have too much metal on, yeah. And I think between the three of us, we can pull him off the meteorite."

Jack shrugged. "Let's do it." He stepped forward and took one of Teal'c's hands while Daniel took the other. "Hang back," he told Sam.

"Sir?"

"Not that I don't trust you but…it'd be kinda stupid if ALL of us got stuck here."

Sam shrugged and crossed her arms over her chest. "Now is when I wish I had a camera."

"You mean like we wish we had back on 595?" Jack asked. Sam felt her face flush and she backed down. "You ready?" he asked Daniel

"Yeah."

"Okay, on three."

He counted to three and the two of them pulled, struggling to first pull Teal'c's arms free, then to pull the rest of him off the meteorite. Teal'c grunted as the pair of them pulled on his arms, both men digging their heels into the dirt to get some traction. Suddenly Teal'c was free, falling forward to land in a heap with Jack and Daniel, their limbs a confusing jumble of muttered curses and sharp outcries.

Sam hurried forward to help them untangle themselves. Jack and Daniel flopped to their backs as Teal'c slowly pushed himself up, moving slowly to sit in the grass.

"Are you okay? Sam asked Teal'c.

"I shall be momentarily," Teal'c said. He clambered to his feet and stumbled off, discarding his armor as he walked.

"What the hell is wrong with him?" Jack asked, sitting up.

"I don't know," Daniel said. "Sam, can giant space magnets drive you nuts?"

Sam watched Teal'c, frowning as something about his actions seemed familiar. With his back to them, she saw him fumble at his waist and she turned away, raising one hand to scratch her head. "I think he'll be fine in a few minutes," she said, resisting the urge to laugh.

"Damn."

"Jack?"

"How long since we've crashed?"

"Five hours?"

"I thought it was six."

"More like seven," Sam interjected. 

"Ouch," Daniel empathized.

"Yep."

After a few moments, Teal'c finished and he turned, making his way back to them. "Feel better?" Jack asked.

"Indeed," Teal'c replied. Sam reached into her pocket and tossed him a ration bar, earning a small smile and a nod in return. "I am pleased to see that you landed safely," he said.

"Back at ya," Jack replied.

"I don't suppose, while you were crashing, you happened to catch sight of the gate?" Daniel asked.

"Daniel-"

"I did," Teal'c interrupted her. "It is two miles in that direction." He pointed off to his left. "I did not have time to study the phenomenon closely, however it appears that the yellow blooming flora of the planet shall lead us to it."

Sam grinned, indulging herself in a moment of 'I told you so' with the colonel and Daniel. She knew that both of them had been skeptical of the whole thing, but she trusted what the Mayor had told her. 

Jack looked at his watch, then up at sun, riding high in the sky. "Okay, I know that 'long day' is a relative term but-"

"The daylight hours do seem to be a lot longer on this planet," Sam interrupted.

He nodded. "I think I'd rather have a long walk now and sleep in my own bed than risk a night here."

"We could bunk in the teltac," Daniel suggested.

Jack shrugged. "I could go for taking a break but if I'm remembering right, we don't have much in the way of supplies in the ship."

"And we have no way of knowing how long night is," Sam said. "If the daytime on this planet is fourteen or eighteen hours, the night could be just as long."

Jack nodded. "Let's scavenge the teltac and get some dinner. We'll start for the gate once we rest."

The four of them walked the short distance back to the teltac. It took them just minutes to find the remaining supplies, including a stash of MRE's. They sat outside the wrecked ship, hunger assisting in making the cold food palatable.

"Teal'c, have you ever heard of two goa'uld sharing a planet?" Sam asked, forcing down a bit of gelatinous pasta. 

"Of what do you speak?"

"Carter ran into some locals. According to them, there are, or were, two goa'uld here," Jack said, his mouth full of chicken ala king.

"Were?"

"Sam killed one," Daniel interjected, studying the piece of chicken speared on his fork.

"It was an accident," Sam protested.

"She squashed it with an escape pod," Jack bragged. 

Teal'c nodded, seemingly nonplused by the fantastical nature of their tale. "It is most unusual for two goa'uld to peacefully co-exist upon a singular planet," he said. "Such alliances are often wrought by a shared motive or an outside force."

"They either make alliances towards the same goal or because someone forces them to," Sam said.

"Indeed."

"If we could just go and see the palace-"

"No," Jack interrupted.

"Jack, the goa'uld often tailor their surroundings to fit the persona they've adopted. It might give me a clue as to who-"

"No," Jack said again. "We're gonna eat our dinner, then we're gonna find the gate, then we're gonna go home," he laid out.

"He's right, Daniel," Sam agreed.

"We can worry about the who later."

"It is unlikely that this goa'uld is a significant threat," Teal'c said. 

"How do you mean?" Jack asked.

"I have seen no Jaffa. Nor have I seen any obvious displays of strength."

"They could just be hanging out here," Sam said. "Maybe a disgraced system lord keeping a low profile?"

"Or maybe just a goa'uld?" Daniel said. "Didn't Jacob say that there were thousands of goa'ulds but only dozens of system lords?"

"They can't all be chiefs," Jack agreed.

"So, the danger-"

"Is still too high," Jack interrupted.

"A goa'uld may use possession of us to purchase favor with the system lords," Teal'c said.  
The monkey scampered at their feet, begging for leftovers. Sam slipped him bits and pieces of her food, ignoring the colonel's frown. She hid a smile as Daniel flinched away from the creature. "That's another reason to leave," Jack said, tossing a crumb at the creature. "Who knows when his friends will come back for round two."

Daniel glared and Sam bit back a grin. The colonel was playing dirty, but she knew he had a point. By her estimation, they were already pressing their luck and she really had no idea how they'd made it this far without more trouble than they'd had.

"Since we are unsure about this planet's fauna, perhaps we should journey to the gate with all haste," Teal'c suggested.

Jack nodded. "You two ready to go?" Sam and Daniel both answered in the affirmative and the four of them got to their feet. It took them just a few minutes to police their trash and retrieve what little they'd gathered. Sam applied herself to the control panel, pulling her pocket knife out to pry off the cover. "Carter?"

"I'm gonna pull the memory crystals, sir," she said, setting the panel aside. "It can help us find this planet again." Jack shrugged as she slipped the crystal into her pocket.

"Do you think we can salvage this tub?"

Sam shook her head. "I don't know if we can make it flight worthy again. On the upside, now that I've pulled the crystals, if we can't come back for it, they'll never know who parked it here."

"That's a good thing. Ready to go?"

Sam nodded and the two of them left the teltac. Daniel and Teal'c were waiting outside and the four of them set off, following the trail of yellow flowers in the direction of the gate.

They walked side by side and Sam, despite her senses alert for any threat, enjoyed the journey. The sun was warm, the breeze was soft as it drifted across the meadow. "If it wasn't for the goa'uld, this would be a pretty nice planet," Jack said. 

"Other than the long day, it does seem rather Earth-like," Sam agreed.

It took them about forty-five uneventful minutes to come within sight of the Stargate. "Dial it up," Jack ordered as soon as they arrive at the gate. Sam stepped forward and pressed the first glyph on the DHD, frowning when there was no answering chunk sound. 

"Sir?" she said, pressing more glyphs. Just like the first, nothing happened.

"Is it broken?" Daniel asked.

"I don't know," Sam said. She knelt down and pulled her knife out of her pocket. She applied herself to the panel, removing it and setting it aside in the grass.

"O'Neill!"

Sam turned her head, wondering what had Teal'c so alarmed. A black cloud hovered over the tree tops, growing larger by the second. "They're back," Daniel said.

"Carter!"

"Working on it," Sam said, turning back to the DHD, doing her best to ignore the approaching menace. 

"Close up!" Jack ordered. "Teal'c, Daniel, how are we armed?" The three of them reported and assessed the situation and Sam tuned them out, struggling to see into the dim recesses of the DHD. "Carter?"

"There's something wrong with the control crystal," Sam said, glancing at Jack.

"Define wrong," he demanded.

Sam pulled it out and held it up. "A piece of it is missing," she reported as she set it down beside the DHD, startling the little monkey who chattered and scampered away.

"Can we manually dial?"

"There is not enough time," Teal'c said.

"He's right," Sam said, reaching for her side arm. The four of them moved together, pressing their backs against each other as the monkeys closed in. The monkeys started to fly in circles around them, keeping several yards away. Sam's eyes darted from one to another, instinctively trying to pick a target even as she acknowledged that she didn't have enough ammunition to take out even a fraction of them.

"What the hell?" Sam glanced over her shoulder, trying to get a look at what the colonel was seeing.

"Oh, my god," she breathed.

"Is this for real?" Daniel said.

"If it is not real, we are all hallucinating the same thing," Teal'c said.

Behind the monkeys, Sam could see a large figure floating towards them. It looked like a chariot but instead of horses, it was drawn by four flying monkeys, these many times larger than the ones harassing them.

A female figure stood in the chariot, one hand holding the reins, the other the front of the chariot. Long black hair fluttered behind her, almost imperceptible from the flowing black gown she was wearing.

The chariot landed, rolling across the green grass. It came to a stop and the woman dismounted. Now that she was closer, Sam could see that she wasn't quite human. Her skin had a distinctly green tinge, something that only made her sharp features look harsh and unforgiving.

"Carter?"

"I can't tell yet," Sam answered, knowing what he was asking. This was probably their goa'uld, but Sam wouldn't be able to sense her symbiote until they were very close to each other. 

"Who are you?" she demanded, stalking over to them, her dark eyes glittering coldly.

"People of little consequence, pay no attention to us," Jack said.

The woman's eyes narrowed. "Insolent," she snarled. "You will answer me."

"Well, I'm Larry, this is my brother Darrell, this is my other brother Darrell," Jack quipped.

"Actually, umm, you know, we just got lost," Daniel said. "And we'd be home right now if the gate worked. Do you know how to fix it?"

"If I knew how to make the chappai work, do you believe that I would be here?" she asked.

"So you knew that it was broken?" Daniel asked.

She fixed Daniel with a cold glare and pursed her lips. "This is my planet, and I know all that happens on it." She studied them one by one. "Such as the fact that one of you killed my sister. I would know which one."

"Love to tell ya, if I had any idea what you were talking about," Jack said. 

"Do NOT toy with me!" she yelled. Her eyes flashed angrily, confirming that she was indeed a goa'uld. "I am aware of what happened. I know that one of you murdered my sister. I have heard as much from her slaves. What they would not tell me, was which one of you committed this act. I WILL know who killed her!" She raised her hand, revealing the elegant golden ribbon of a hand device wrapped around her wrist. The center stone glowed menacingly and Sam took a step forward, not wanting her friends to die because of her.

In an instant, Daniel stepped in front of her and the goa'uld's arm flew out, grabbing him and pulling him towards her as Jack and Teal'c spun, raising and aiming their weapons. "Let him go," Jack said, all mocking gone from his voice and replaced by steely resolve.

"Tell me who killed my sister, or he dies," the goa'uld threatened, her right arm twisted around Daniel's neck while her left hand hovered close to his head.

"The only people dying here are gonna be those subletting their heads," Jack said. 

The goa'uld's eyes narrowed. "I shall release him," she said. "If you return to me that which you have taken."

"We have not taken anything," Teal'c said.

"Whoever killed my sister, took something from her. Give it to me, and I shall release your friend," she bargained.

Sam's heart jumped and she fought the urge to touch the necklace hidden under her shirt. "Tell ya what, let him go and I won't kill you," Jack countered.

The center stone of the hand device started to glow and Sam tensed, ready to step forward. A screeching sound and burst of wind forced her to take a step back. In an instant, their little companion jumped up, its tiny claws digging into the woman's gown. 

Distracted, the goa'uld released Daniel and he fell to his knees. The other monkeys seemed to take this as a sign and they descended, enveloping the woman in a seething black cloud. The goa'uld screamed as she was lifted into the air, the monkeys working in unison to carry her off.

Sam stared, forgetting her training as the woman vanished into the trees. "Did I just see what I think I saw?" Daniel asked, his left hand running his sore neck.

"If you witnessed a goa'uld defeated by winged simians, then yes, you did just perceive what you believe that you perceived," Teal'c said. 

Sam reholstered her weapon and took a breath, trying to steady her nerves. "That was fun."

"Yeah, thrilling," Jack said. "Let's get the gate fixed before they come back for the main course."

Sam nodded and made her way over to the DHD. She bent down to pick up the crystal, reaching under her shirt. She pulled out the necklace the natives had given her. She stared at it, then at the control crystal, her eyes darting back and forth. "Colonel," 

"What the hell is that?" Jack asked, moving to her side as she pulled the crystal off the chain, slipping the chain into her pocket.

"The goa'uld I killed was wearing this." Jack raised his eyebrows. "The natives gave it to me," she explained. She held the control crystal in one hand, the smaller pendant in the other. "I think this is what the goa'uld was wanting," she said, snapping the two pieces together.

"Major Carter?"

"Somehow, they separated the control crystal. Made it like a safe deposit box. It takes both parts for the gate to work," she explained.

Jack smiled. "Two goa'uld, one gate. The best way to make sure that neither gains the upper hand."

"Does it work?" Daniel asked.

"One way to find out," Sam said, carefully replacing the crystal. Once it was in place, she pressed the first glyph, grinning when the chevron lit up. "I think we're in business."

"Sweet," Jack said. "We'll be home in time for dinner."

Daniel and Teal'c closed ranks as Sam activated their GDO, confirming their identity. After just a few seconds, she got the answering beep that told them it was safe to go through. "We're good to go, sir."

  
/\/\/\/\/\

  
Sam pulled the memory crystal out of its case and slid it into the interface, stretching her back as she waited for the data to download to her computer. She toyed with the chain she'd been given, using her finger to spin it into shapes on her table top.

"See, told ya." Sam turned, not surprised to see the rest of her team stroll into her lab. 

"Told them what?" Sam asked.

"That you'd still be here," Daniel explained.

"General Hammond was curious about the planet," Sam reminded, anticipating their postponed but still upcoming briefing with their commander. "Especially now that the goa'uld is dead."

"Do you believe that he will wish to attempt to scavenge the teltac?" Teal'c asked.

Sam nodded. "It would be nice to have a ship of our own."

"Not to mention 'unfailing' the mission that we were on to retrieve it in the first place," Jack said.

"You are planning to use the ship's data crystal to discover the identity and location of the planet," Teal'c said.

"Yep. I checked the goa'uld database that Dad left with us. There's not a single mention of a planet with two goa'uld living on it."

"The intelligence possessed by the Tok'ra may not be as encompassing as they believe," Teal'c said.

"It is a big galaxy," Jack agreed. "A lot of territory to cover."

"That is possible," Sam said. Her computer screen flashed and she turned back to her computer, typing in a few commands. Words and a starmap scrolled up and Sam stared.

"What?" Jack asked.

"Umm, Daniel. I'm not sure if my goa'uld is right," she said. She picked up the chain and twisted it around her fingers. "Can you take a look at this?"

Daniel stepped forward and Sam leaned back to give him room. Daniel frowned and muttered a few things to himself. 

"Daniel?"

"There's no mention here of two goa'uld," he said. 

"So, it's a waste?"

"I didn't say that," he said. "We do have the planet's name."

"Fantastic, so we can go back," Jack said. "I'll get Siler, a few cutting torches, couple of ATV's…"

"The planet's name is Ahz," Daniel said.

"Oz?" Jack asked, interrupting his own planning.

"Not Oz, but Ahz," Daniel clarified. Jack stared, blinking slowly. "It's a tomato, tomahato thing."

The four of them stared at each other for a few minutes, neither wishing to be the first to broach the topic. "So we crashed our ship on a planet ruled by two rival sisters and populated by diminutive humanoids and flying simians?" Teal'c said.

"Yeah," Sam agreed, grimacing a bit at how ridiculous it sounded.

"One of which you killed by landing a escape pod on her which gave you the red crystal that we used to make the gate work so that we could come home," Jack said.

"Yeah." Sam nodded slowly.

"And you guys followed this yellow trail that led us right to the Stargate and home," Daniel said.

"Mmmhm."

The four of them looked at each other again, the unspoken words hanging in the air between them, very much the elephant in the room. They stared at each other, comprehension and disbelief struggling for dominance. Sam opened her mouth, ready to say anything to break up the awkward silence.

"I'm hungry," Jack declared.

"Sir?" His words broke the spell and it seemed like they all started to breathe again.

"Cake. I want some cake." He abruptly spun on his heel and left the room. Daniel and Teal'c both shrugged and fell into step behind him. Sam stared, glancing down at the computer screen then the gold chain twisted in her fingers.

"There's no place like home," she muttered, dropping the chain onto her work table and getting to her feet. "Guys, wait up!" she called out.

Sam dashed out into the hall and fell into step as the four of them walked side by side down the hall.

~Fin~


End file.
